Heather Adair Hawkins | Best Day Ever
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Best Day Ever

13 Aug 2015, by Heather Hawkins in Uncategorized

Aiden, do you know what water colours are?” I asked as I pried her off my leg. “No.” “Would you like to?” I work my fingers under hers to unhook the little grasping claws that are digging into my calf flesh. “…..maybe.” “Then you have to let go.” At the end of this particular journeythere are eggs to be bought and lunches to be procured. Okay but we need to go to the stationary store first.

If it giving in, if I let her go, is it bribing to let her look. Probably not. Okay.” “This is the BEST DAY EVER!” A look, a build-a-light, and a scratch pad later, we are looking back towards Cole’s. How do we do this without conflict? Which door, Aiden. Which one should we go through to get to Cole’s.” “This one.” “Okay, take us there.

I want marshmallows.” You don’t need marshmallows. If you bought all those daddy would steal them all up!” “He would……NOT!” What is better, bribing her with a smaller chocolate or a meltdown but I stood my ground. Aiden, if we can get through the rest of the store, you can have the this egg surprise.” “I do not WANT an egg surprise. I haven’t done anything for an egg surprise…..Can I have these mini M&Ms.” “Only if we can get through the store.” “BEST DAY EVER!
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Aiden, you have to breathe.” “I….*huff*….can’t….*huff*” Baby, just breathe. In….and out. In….and out.” I try to hold the thrashing hands that have cut up my face, her face, my arms, her arms as the scream peels through the house. “I’ve never had a good day. THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER! It will always be the worst day ever. I don’t have a good day. I can’t have a good day. I’m a bad girl!” “You are NOT a bad girl. You are good and kind. You try very hard.” “Every…*huff*….everyday hurts. I hurt. It hurts. HURTS!” The hug hold is hard to do. It involves your whole body. “Do you remember the day you got pumpkin teddy bear?” “NO!” “Do you remember the day we got your little brother Leif?” “….yes….yes…I remember that. It was a good day. It was a good day…..but what about tomorrow. I’ll never have a best day.” Screams echo off the ceiling and I’m positive the cops will show up any minute. Think, think, think. Don’t think about tomorrow til it gets here.” “I have to. I can’t stop. I can’t stop. I can’t stop!” “What about Banjo.” “We don’t have Banjo.” “So someday we will get Banjo.” “Someday.” “Will that be a good day.” “It will be a good day.” “There are good days in your future.” “In my future.” “You need to sleep. Just sleep.” “I love you, Mommy.” …..Best day EVER.

A tear rolls down my face as I check to make sure the worst of the scratches will fade by tomorrow and not remind her of tonight. I lay down and try not to think about tomorrow and follow my own advice. Today. Today was the BEST day ever.

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